Red on the Floor

I was on the phone with my friend Nicky tonight (over an hour ago) when I suddenly noticed that there was a red dot on the floor next to the dogs.

"I have to go, one of the dogs is bleeding"

"Have fun with that" were her words

I slowly approach them (because if you approach them fast they think you want to play so they run the opposite way) and there were smaller "red dots" on Cali's leg.

Keeping my cool, I walk over to the laundry and grab a stack of rags and go back to Cali to try to find the source. She has blood on her paw, but it isn't bleeding. She has blood on her mid-leg, but that isn't bleeding either. Finally I get to her face - which is looking pink - and it appears that maybe her jaw or her cheek is bleeding. Come to find out, the very edge of the floppy part of her ear is the source.

So I put pressure on it and it stops bleeding. Then she shakes her head and blood goes everywhere (as in, I found blood on the treat jar... that sits on the counter...). So I put pressure again. Then she shakes again and more blood goes places it should not be going.

Keeping hold of her collar with my left hand, we go over to the medicine cabinet and I put wound ointment on the wound while it had stopped bleeding. Then I send her on her way outside... Maybe it'll heal on its own, was my thought.

After about 5 minutes, she comes to the door.... blood dripping from her ear.

I either need to keep her ear still (impossible) or cover it up (more achievable goal). So I let Pellet outside and Cali and I go back to the medicine cabinet. Still holding her still with my left hand (which involves my wrist twisting and turning in abnormal ways as well as Cali laying flat on her back with all four feet up in the air), I proceed to open Band-Aids with my right hand. Well, have you ever tried doing this? It's nearly impossible because one side of the Band-Aid sticks to the other side. Then I manage to separate them but now it sticks to my arm - after removing the Band-Aid from my arm I finally put it on Cali and quickly move on to opening another Band-Aid (because one is not doing the trick). Same scenario from above, except now the thing is sticking to the counter. By instinct I put the Band-Aid on my lip (I know, bad idea in retrospective) to free up my right hand to be able to grab her ear. Finally I get the ear situated and quickly pull the Band-Aid from my lip. Yes, ouch is correct, there is blood everywhere and now the source is my lip.

So now my lip is bleeding - profusely - and Cali has managed to shake her head, send the Band-Aid contraption flying, pull herself from the collar and has taken off into the living room - bleeding. Need I mention that Pellet is outside BARKING? Yes, Pellet is outside, barking while all of this is happening.

In the midst of trying to make my bleeding lip stop, bringing Pellet in from outside and sweetly luring Cali back to me, I manage to come up with contraption #2:

Now I eat dinner - which involves a bowl of cheerios with an aftertaste of blood!

Note: the whole time this fiasco was going on, Cali's tail never stopped wagging. She never once wailed or flinched. What was the cause of this? Rough housing....